Body-image issues often run so much deeper than ‘I don’t like how I look’. I’ve tried to break down what makes up my obsessions and spirals with my own body-image in the Ven diagram below:
It can honestly just feel like a big un-manageable mess in my head, so picking it apart like this and visually being able to see each aspect really helps me — I recommend trying it!
I never knew neurodivergence could have such an impact on how I feel and think about my body and appearance. Sensory needs play a big part of it…
Clothing doesn’t feel right? I HATE MY BODY.
In sensory overload and someone touches me? I HATE MY BODY.
Food not sitting right in my belly? I HATE MY BODY.
Disabled from self-care? I HATE MY BODY.
Unable to process a change in appearance? I HATE MY BODY.
If I delve even deeper, the whole dramatic response of ‘I hate my body’ may also stem down to my audhd brain. It often leads to me having very black or white thinking — things are either good or bad, amazing or horrible, the best or the worst, etc.
When what you’re living with is undiagnosed, it can be extremely hard to validate experiences for yourself and often lead to further issues down the road. For me, it led to a whole host of mental health difficulties and inaccurate diagnoses such as borderline personality disorder (BPD) as the symptoms can be so similar to that of both autism & ADHD.
Basically, all of this can make having a stable sense of self (including image of yourself) very very tricky — I’m still working on this. I’m learning that a small shift in body sensation does not have to equal me hating on my body. It sounds so obvious, but when you’ve spent your whole life perfecting that neural pathway, it takes hard work to alter it.
Being aware of WHY I may feel how I do on certain days, gives me a power over how I handle and react to it. In the past, if someone touched me when I’m in a state of sensory overload I would have a complete meltdown and honestly want to rip myself out of my body (no exaggerations here lol). Whereas now that I understand what is going on in the moment, I can let that person know that I’m currently too overwhelmed or overstimulated for physical touch and that it is nothing to do with them — I just need personal space. This in turn can also have a positive impact on my relationships! Knowledge really is power when it comes to health & wellbeing (in my humble little opinion).
Thank you so much for reading & please let me know about your own needs/triggers when it comes to body image ❤
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